500 Mph Storm (2013) Reviews

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Ah, Cas Van Dien in yet another low budget Sci Fi extravaganza. He's got to put food on the table I suppose right?

I am a huge fan of dumb low budget weather related Sci Fi flicks and this one is pretty dumb. Bad, bad acting, terrible, no wait...AWFUL script and a snot nosed teenaged kid who needs to be smacked upside the head for his snarky attitude towards his parents.

Early in the film, Van Dien, driving away from the storm after ballooning, contorts his face into what's supposed to be fearful looks, but shows up only as bad acting. I laughed. LOVE the rugged look he has though. The beard looks great and I'm not a fan of facial hair.

The thing that bugged me about this the most, was small odd scenes that were shot, and then all tossed around and edited together like a bunch of high school kids were working on a film project in their cinema class. You knew which scenes were staged so the actors would stand and stare at the CGI to be inserted later. Lol

The super storm threatens Van Dien and his on screen family, so they decide to head to higher ground in the family car (Approx 21 mins into the movie). Once there, the snarky son gets out of the car complaining and kicking up dirt, until the mom say's "John, be quiet".

Then, dad say's "I hear it too". Then, they all scramble, per verbal instruction, to get into the car "slowly" then "faster" without the film EVER explaining WHAT the stupid scary sound was. lol.... Bigfoot perhaps? Mountain Lions? Zombies? Vampires? Wait, it's daylight so no it couldn't be vamps...(Eh, unless it's a glittery Cullen}.

The entire scene is about 20 seconds long and makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. You're left scratchin' your head at that one.

The rest of the movie is filled with more cheap CGI and bad acting. That's about it.

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It doesn't get more awesomely bad than this. If you like movies that are so bad that you laugh out loud when you're not supposed to, this is the movie for you. Here are some examples of things to add to your drinking game:

Take a shot or chug a beer after any of these below. You might want to pick just one. Even then you may die of alcohol poisoning, so play at your own risk.

1. Someone runs in slow motion.

2. Casper Van Dien yells "Come On!!! Let's go!!!"

3. Casper Van Dien has a look of fear that instead resembles constipation

4. Casper Van Dien outruns Mother Nature...on foot!

5. You have no idea what is going on or why.

6. You see a main cast member after a half hour or so in, and you can't remember their name, and are not entirely sure if the movie ever told you.

7. You see the same location being passed off as a different location

8. You see a special effect that you could put together in the next ten minutes

9. Every time Casper Van Dien and his family get out of the car, then almost immediately get back into it.

10. The family car is careening through the driving rain, and the windshield wipers aren't on.

These are just a few. Make some up on your own as well!

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I've never rated a movie 1 star. I am a huge fan of weather related catastrophes and have watched many low budget movies with ease and enjoyment. This one was excruciating to watch. It is THE WORST one I have ever watched. The writing and script were awful, and the acting was awful. It was truly a waste of good time! Trust the low star reviews this time...this was the epitome of a waste of film.

Honest reviews on 500 Mph Storm (2013)

If you think you know bad........... You haven't seen this yet! Extremely poor plot, even worse acting, seriously pathetic special effects, and 90% of the movie is special effects!!!! The same building is portrayed as 10 different facilities. The suposedly heroic family is always screaming in fear and they never make a remotely intelligent decision in any circumstance. Did I mention seriously pathetic special effects and 90% of the movie is special effects??? Their special effects look like they were designed on an Etch-A-Sketch!!!!!! On a scale of 1 to 10, this ranks about 126,792,537 below zero!!!!!!!! A candidate for a Rotten Tomatoes award? No, I would say it's more of a candidate for a fresh cow pie!!!!!

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My wife loves Disaster movies... This is a total disaster and not in a good way. The acting sucks, the story line... well it was like there was no script and actors made it up as they went along. I knew it was going to be a low budget film, but when nothing makes sense and the lack of a story line as it jumps to places where your thinking ... Did I miss something for them to get to this point?? We want some of the 70's disaster films like Posiden or the Airport movies. Towering Inferno ect. Stay away from this one.